Tying paragraphs together

Or how sentence structure impacts continuity.

As I was revising one secondary character’s life story I made a change that, though small, felt like a puzzle piece clicking into place.

The original sentences were as follows:

He couldn’t stand being inside anymore. He couldn’t stand his peers, either.
A majority of them were Black, and clearly had an issue with white people […]

If you ignore the example’s topic for a minute, you may get a sense of something in the structure of the sentences not flowing right. I picked at them, and revised one sentence to obtain this set:

He couldn’t stand being inside anymore. Neither could he stand his peers.
A majority of them were Black, and clearly had an issue with white people […]

Can you feel it? The continuity between paragraphs is fixed. The statements about peers are now linked to one another.

This is why I adore the English language. There’s a fluidity that makes this a tremendously difficult language to master, as word placement is of utmost import and can alter the meaning of the entire sentence. In this case, both placement and word choice altered overall readability.

Sometimes, it takes very little to improve one’s work. The feeling of accomplishment, however, is grand, as it isn’t merely about fixing the narrative: it’s about being able to fix the narrative because you’ve learned to spot the issues through years of learning, growing, understanding your craft. It’s a taste of success that leads to trust, and pride, in personal skillsets. And we can all use a little pride in our work, as long as ego doesn’t blind us.